Of Landscaping and Forks
by InweTiwele
Summary: Crackfic. Beware. In which Tsunade is fed up with Naruto's and Sasuke's fighting.


A/N: So...this is a crack fic. Obviously. The idea for this fic was brewed by NaruFMAFangirl and myself out of boredom. While sitting on the couch that inspired ChachaLoca's poem Lethargic. Ah...good times.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Naruto. Obviuosly.

* * *

Of Landscaping and Forks

Tsunade had finally gotten fed up with Sasuke and Naruto's fighting. It had practically destroyed their training grounds causing the shinobi to have to rebuild them several times. Not to mention, the forest was looking a bit sad as of late. What with all the craters and what not. So, Tsunade had decided to kick them out of Konoha for a week to go fight elsewhere and be the plague of some other hapless town and their leader. 

So, the two had ended up in Forks. Forks, Washington, to be exact. Why? We shall never know.

* * *

It was a relatively normal day in the small town of Forks, Washington. Well, as normal as it could be and was ever going to be. Jacob Black had decided to take a stroll for the woods to get away from the other pack members. They could be annoying sometimes. 

So, here he was. Strolling through the Hoh Rainforest of the Olympic Peninsula. He was wandering aimlessly and was drawn by the sound of two voices shouting at each other. And by the sounds of it, they were fighting.

Jacob, being the curious little werewolf he is, felt the need to investigate. And, without following the heed of that well-known proverb about a dead over-curious cat, Jacob went anyway. Needless to say, he was very surprised by what he saw.

When he walked into the clearing there was a giant crater in the ground and several felled cedar trees. And, in the center of the crater were too arguing boys. One was pale and black haired. The other was blond and blue eyed with what appeared to be whisker marks on his face. 

"You ate my ramen!" the blond shouted.

"You ate my tomatoes!" the black haired boy retorted.

"I did not!" they shouted to each other simultaneously.

The boys proceeded to attempt to kill each other once again. Jacob stared at the black haired boy. He was strikingly handsome, pale, and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"Um…" 

They stared at him. Jacob pointed at the black haired boy.

"Is he a vampire?"

There was silence. The boys stared at him until the blond started to laugh uproariously. 

"That's the best thing I've ever heard!" he choked out between laughter. "Contrary to popular belief, Sasuke is human. At least, I think he is. Hmmmm…."

The boy named Sasuke looked about ready to murder the first thing that moved. That something happened to be the blond standing next to him. Sasuke proceed to attempt to strangle the blond. "I'm kidding teme!"

At that moment, Bella and Edward strolled up hand in hand. Bella pointed to Sasuke with a confused expression. "Is he a vampire?"

The blond laughed harder. Sasuke kicked him. "Ouch!"

"No, Bella, dear, he isn't a vampire," Edward replied.

"Huh…"

Sasuke was obviously seething by now. Edward looked at the two voices quizzically. "Why am I hearing three people's thoughts?"

_**'Crap.'**_

Edward stared as he heard the word repeated _three_ times. Sasuke turned to Naruto.

"Outright panic or nervous silence, Naruto?" he asked the blond.

"Outright panic, of course! Quick, create a distraction! RUN AWAY!"

"Bye!"

The two proceeded to disappear in puffs of smoke. Edward, Bella, and Jacob were stunned into silence. 

"That…was…odd," Bella said.

"Indeed," replied Edward.

There was another long silence.

"Bloodsucker."

"Mongrel."

Bella sighed and then tripped and fell into the crater.

* * *

A/N: Okay, credit time! The outright panic or nervous silence is from the fic Two Brothers, I believe. I can't remember the author (I'm so sorry!) nor the fic. All I know is that it's in NaruFMAFangirl's favorites and I am way too lazy to search through all of them. There are nearly 200. And the create a distraction goes to my sister and her friends. 

In regards to the Hoh Rainforest, it's quite lovely. You should visit it one day. 


End file.
